Sacrifice

This week I volunteered to be a leader at my churches Holiday Bible Club. I enjoyed myself but it was challenging, I left last week emotionally and physically drained. I have never experienced children who were consistently at each other, being super nasty and behaving completely out of hand. And I've been an au pair for the past three years so I thought I had a good idea of how to handle children which was not the case. I really had to look at myself and think about how I reacted to certain situations and sometimes I overreacted which could have been from the lack of sleep but I feel I should have handle certain situations with a little more grace then I did. 

Not to mention that this was my first week of changing to a healthier lifestyle and yes I made mistakes and I wasn't perfect but I haven't given up. I started the week with a high because I weighed myself at 85.6kg so that means from the last time I had weighed myself I had lost three kgs which motivated me into this week. During the week I was extremely active during all the activities at HBC which ranged from dancing to running, I really forced myself into getting involved and tried my best to put myself out there socially as well considering I have lost my ability it seems to talk to people due to my self conception.  

However, it's extremely hard to carry on or even think about carrying on when you stand on that scale and you have stayed the same after a week of really trying to be good. But I guess its at these times where you do push forward and you try even harder because I haven't gotten anywhere giving up at this point so the only way I can go is forward now. I can only try harder because this isn't the life I want to live anymore. If anything, this week has taught me that sacrifice really rewards you in ways that you can't even imagine. I sacrificed my time this week to spend time with children that really challenged me and made me look at myself and made me look at how I deal with situations and how I react. I grew this week in many ways and I'm learning more about myself as I walk this journey.

Pirate day at HBC. I thought I did a pretty good job considering I had ten minutes to get ready

I need to look at this past week, I need to figure out what could have happened to hinder my weight lost but I don't have to beat myself up about it because even though I didn't lose any weight doesn't mean I haven't grown in other ways. And ultimately this journey is about learning, its about growing and its about developing myself into a better person. I want to grow in all the ways, and that's exactly why I sacrificed my time for HBC.

I look forward to this next week, I'm back on my exercise plan because I have recovered from my viral infection so hopefully I see a little bit of progress. It excites me to know that development is happening and I'm starting to change how I see myself, I'm starting to see ways I can better myself. It makes me proud to know that I am doing this and I haven't given up yet. I can do this. I will do this. Not for anybody else but for myself. 

Super hero day at HBC. I went as a Ninja Turtle and one of my girls went as batwoman